mari's musings

A Full Life is a Good Life

Every month since I've been here, there's been something that kept me busy and I needed that. I didn't get the full summer that I usually do, so I didn't get the opportunity to recharge like I would have liked. Add to that a community of loved ones that have missed me and wouldn't let me rest (there's some good to that) and you have one busy life. In August, it was the start of a school year and a new/old romance. In September it was preparation for the crossing (more on that later). In October it was crossing and homecoming. Now in November I can finally kick back with this week-long Thanksgiving break. 

The beginning of the school year has gone really well. Extremely well. My principal looks at me as "the golden child". I really can do no wrong in her eyes (as of right now). Part of that has been my recent commitment to really be excellent. I don't know if it was the depression I felt while in New York, but I had forgotten what it really felt like to teach. To spend my nights in my bed with curriculum maps surrounding me while I searched the Internet for fascinating ways to teach the mundane. To collaborate with other educators so that I could really understand what direction to take my students in. To rush into work everyday because I loved to be there. That had been lost somewhere. I got it back though. It may also just be that my principal is really good at saying, do you! And that's what I've done with no paramaters placed on me. For God's sake, she came in to do an informal observation and I was throwing paper planes! But she loved the lesson so much that she bragged on me for weeks! I'm also part of a community filled with coworkers that are far more awesome than I could have imagined. They keep me laughing all day long, and are also good to bounce ideas off of. I had this in NY as well, but we were all so disgruntled with the school itself that we couldn't even begin to collaborate in effective ways.

During August, I also reacquainted myself with someone from my past. He's a great guy. I have no qualms with him, but isn't there a proverb that tells you to never go back to something you left behind? Yeah. It ended and I wasn't sad to see it go. But during that time, I also realized how much I just enjoy dating. I'm an only child. I genuinely enjoy myself. I could entertain me for hours. And laugh and cry and feel and emote and...all with no one watching. So it's very difficult for me to be in a relationship with someone that is not as independent as I am. That was one of the things I loved about my daughter's father. He could care less what I was doing most days because he was so caught up in his own self. So right now I'm happy about dating and meeting these really strong independent individuals because it gives me space to be me. 

If you have been reading long enough, you know a couple things about me: 1) I'm part of an African rites of passage group and 2) homecoming is like my 2nd birthday. This year, both of those things became really important during the same time. First we had crossing, which is where a group of people whom have been "journeying" together for a period of time emerge after studying five principles together. There's a huge celebration and it's a really good time.

It is also very overwhelming. Immediately after that, we had homecoming. Anyone whom has ever been to a Spelman/Morehouse née SpelHouse homecoming knows that this is serious business. This year I had entirely too much fun at tailgating. Complete with shots taken off my cleavage and...I've already said too much. Anyhow. Just know I had a really good time.

I even took my nephew out there. What's that? How dare you do inappropriate things with your nephew out there? Yeah...let me show you a picture of my nephew.

Oh, you didn't even know I had siblings? Yes. While I am my mother's only child, I am my daddy's baby. So this beautimous thing is my brother's son. And this is my brother.

Another reason I love being in Atlanta is that it gives me the opportunity for more family time. I've seen my brother four times since July, and I see my nephew at least once a month. I'm actually honored that he finds me "cool" enough to want to spend time with me. I might outparty him!

*update*

So I started this entry almost a month ago. How fitting that my life has become so "full" that I really haven't had the time to finish this. Anyhow, since that week so much has happened. I mean...really...I don't even know where to begin.

My mom came for Thanksgiving. It was good, and it was a lot. My mother and I have a lot of healing we need to do. Nothing deep. But I'm currently working on a scrapbook to give her to see if that can jumpstart things. We already did some work towards that this summer when she came and when she left I felt like we were in a really good place. Nothing has really changed. I just need to stop feeling so heavily judged by her. I'm a natural free spirit. I love the wild and crazy life I lead. Mom is more reserved and finds me a little careless as opposed to carefree. We've just got to find some middle ground. We're getting there.

I got a lot of partying in Thanksgiving week. The Wednesday before I spent the whole day cooking and decided to relax by going out the club with my girls and my nephew. I partied so hard that night that my friend AD couldn't get a picture of me being still. I am literally a blur in almost every picture we took that night because I danced so hard.

 

The next day at Thanksgiving I had some friends over. That was a lot of fun. We played games and ate well. I even had a rather unexpected visitor: a guy I like. Maybe there will be more about that later. ;-)

Anyhow, I did some more partying that weekend around some different spots.

And just had a glorious time. Maybe next month I'll be able to get you caught up with what happened THIS month! Bwa ha ha ha! Anyhow, for daily updates, follow me at @hella_fine_1908 on twitter, or find me under the name Hella Fine on facebook.

 

Wow

I'm awful at this. I know. Is anybody still out there? Let me start out by saying that the reason that I have not blogged is because life has just been too good! I mean...really...good. Just...my cup runneth over...good. There's a lot to update, and I don't know if I can do it all in one sitting, but I'll give you what I can.

Well I moved! It was very hectic. I found out in late May that I would be getting the exact apartment I wanted in the exact location I needed for La Sugarcube to go to the exact school I wanted her to. I then spent the better part of the beginning of my summer packing. And I had a lot of shit to pack. And a lot of shit to throw away. But, thanks to my awesome friends, I got all of that done. It did mean, though, that I didn't have a lot of time to say my goodbyes the way I would have liked to. But, lo and behold, my best friend threw me a fabulous going away gathering so I got to see a lot of people in one place during my last Sunday in NYC. 

Some things are going to sound out of order, but I feel like I have to backtrack in order to give you the full story. In March I went to visit Atlanta for my other best friend's engagement party. During this trip, I just happened to stop by my friend's school to see her students because they were my students' pen pals. During this time, I said I wanted to meet the principal. I didn't want to have a formal interview because I didn't even know if I'd be able to work in that school system, but I did want to let her know that I was looking. Well, she had different plans. When I arrived, she had me sitting in front of herself and another administrator and the lead fifth grade teacher. She interviewed me right there and said that, if she had a spot, she wanted to hire me immediately. Fast forward a couple of months and I get a call from her saying that she wanted to hire me for the upcoming school year as a fourth grade teacher. I was elated. So by the time I was leaving for Atlanta everything seemed to be laid out perfectly. New home. Check. New job. Check. Same boyfriend. Check. It all seemed so sureally divine. That would soon change. 

I got to Atlanta on a Wednesday after driving a majority of the trip while my boyfriend kept me very little company. We had left in the middle of the night. Our plan had been to leave at noon on Tuesday after packing up our belongings in the tiny Uhaul truck. But none of his friends showed up to help us pack the truck as they had promised. So we ended up having to do this ourselves. It took us 6 hours. We then had to drop off the cable box at Time Warner and get something to eat since we hadn't eaten all day. At this point, it was 6 in the evening and I was exhausted. It didn't seem wise to get on the road. So we decided to park the truck and head to his grandmother's house to take a nap. I attempted to park the truck in a covered garage and quickly realized this wouldn't work since I hit the roof upon trying to enter. We then had to drive around to find an open garage to park the truck, take a cab to his grandma's house, and then eat the food we had grabbed on the go. I was beyond done. 

We took a nap, and set out at midnight to get on the road. We were flying and making good time, and then we hit Virginia and everything on the road was at a standstill. I got sleepy and had to take the first, of several, naps on the way down. When we finally got to Atlanta, I was so invigorated! My friend Charla and her husband lovingly cooked us dinner and offered to let us stay at their home for the next two evenings while my apartment got ready. 

The next morning, I woke up early to call the school system so that I could go and get fingerprinted and processed for my new job. I called and was told to come in that afternoon to get my fingerprints done. And then I was called back and told not to come in. No one could tell me why. But I knew that they only did fingerprinting and processing on Tuesdays and Thursdays so I would have to wait until the next week to do so. This was cutting it close because teachers had to report to the school the week after that. So I had a lot to do in very little time before I would have to go to work. My usual 8-week vacation had already been cut short by four weeks because NY gets out at the end of June. I had spent 2 weeks packing. Now one week traveling. And that left me with one week to buy all new furniture and get ready for the school year. It was hectic, to say the least. 

Now another backstory...the school district I was set to work in had just released a lengthy report about cheating in the district. The report included names of 179 individuals that were set to be terminated because of this scandal. Some were teachers, some were principals, some were administrators at a higher level. You would think this meant their positions would then be open and I would DEFINITELY have a job. This was not the case. It ended up putting a snag in my plans because, while these people were set to be fired at some point, they were owed due process. So they were still being paid while they were waiting to find out their fate. So all hiring got put on hold. But, you say, you had already been offered a position. Yes, I say, I had. But the only way I would have been able to waltz through this process was if I had already gotten fingerprinted and signed a contract prior to the end of June. I was still in school in NY. 

So now, here I was in Atlanta with a new apartment, a brand new car (with a brand new car note that had been given to me contingent on me acquiring the job I had been promised), and no job. I freaked the hell out! I spent the better part of the next week at the school of the principal whom had promised me the position trying to figure out a strategy to get me in the system. She was just as upset as I was. She wanted me that badly. By the grace of God (THE GRACE OF GOD...do you hear me?!) a man I used to work with had become a principal since I had moved. He was then given a position of one of the higher administrators whose job was going to be taken because of the cheating scandal. I knew him well. My principal had to go to a meeting with this man to discuss how many teachers she would be able to keep for the upcoming year and how many she would have to take from the system. She then asked if she would be able to hire outside of the system. He told her she would not. She then asked, "well what about Maria Newport?" and his ears perked up. He made sure she was talking about the Maria he knew, and he responded, "oh...you WANT her! She's awesome...and doesn't she have a daughter?" She told him that was the same person, and then told him that I had moved down from NY assuming I had a job and she did not want to leave me hanging. He told her he would see what he do. When she told me that, I emailed him right then and there. I knew it was a long shot. I knew they weren't trying to hire outside of the system before they knew what they were doing with all the people already in the system, but my livelihood depended on this. So I sent him a message asking if I should look at another district because I had bills to pay...immediately. And, in the midst of this scandal, in the midst of all the moving teachers around, in the midst of all the paperwork he had acquired by being put in this position in the middle of this midst, he wrote me back IMMEDIATELY! And told me not to worry. This was Thursday. I was supposed to report to work Monday. 

Now a little more backtracking...my boyfriend, my wonderful boyfriend, the man I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with, lost his mind. That's the only way I can put it. I was already going through a hectic time. I may not have been as attentive as he needed. He already said I was moody and had an attitude (something he believed before we ever crossed state lines). Whatever the case, one minute we were laughing and joking in Best Buy, the next he was "telling on me" to my mentor and I thought he was insane. I did have an attitude. He was right. I must admit it. I had a lot of resentment. You probably would too if you were taking care of a man your same age financially. But that wasn't his fault. I did it. I'm not apologetic for it. I loved him. I wanted to take care of him. I just didn't know I'd have to do it for as long as I did. Whatever the case, he thought my "attitude" gave him the right to go through my phone. He felt he found something which really was nothing. I told him it was nothing, but he insisted I had a previous relationship with this man. He then told me I had two days to figure out if I wanted to be with him. Um...no...I didn't go through anyone's phone. So I figured HE needed to figure out where HE wanted to be, and when he came to me two days later, I told him I had no answer for him. Because I didn't. Maybe I wanted it to end. It was the fourth or fifth time he had broken up with me over something, so maybe I was tired. Whatever it was, I didn't fight him when he decided to pack up his stuff and leave. 

So...apartment, car, maybe job, no boyfriend. It was a lot...A LOT! But I kept pushing. And what I found is that character can get you through the most trying times. That isn't to say that my character was appropriate throughout it, but that's how you learn the lessons. I found out on that Tuesday that the man I knew had, indeed, come through and I got the job that I wanted. This made me realize that when you leave a place in good standing, people will go to bat for you. And he did just that. That only left me three days to get my classroom together, though. But I did it, and I love my job. I love my kids. I especially love my coworkers. But more of that will come later. 

There will be more updates later. My life has calmed down a bit since then. It took a few months, but I'm finally able to relax...and blog!

Apparently...

I'm still not good at updating. I promise this will change once I move. And that is happening in 21 days. Twenty.One. I'm so excited I could spit! Last we spoke, I had no idea where I would be working nor living. I am happy to report that I will be living here, and I will be teaching here. Overjoyed and overwhelmed is where I am right now. 

The school year wraps up in 7 days. It seems like we stay in school forever, but this is the first year that I have not been looking forward to the end. It will be so hard to say goodbye to my coworkers, and the anxiety of preparing for this move is far more thought-consuming than ending a school year. Our last field trip is tomorrow. We have a school-wide assembly Thursday. I'm taking off Friday for my daughter's graduation. And that leaves all of Monday and the half-day Tuesday to pack up all my stuff and take down all the bulletin boards. I'm less than thrilled.

This move has started to feel like the beginning of a new era for me. Almost as if life doesn't start until I get there. I know that's not the case. And I know that if you're depressed, you are living in the past; if you're anxious, you're living in the future; and if you're happy, you're living in the present. I am definitely living in the future. To calm my nerves, I've discovered this website that keeps me on top of all the little crafty decorating ideas I have. Follow me (Hella Fine). It has made me have really creative thoughts of late, but it sucks because I should be packing up all my stuff, but I just want to pull it out and make stuff!

This move has been on my mind largely because I miss my community of friends in Atlanta, and also because I wanted to save money. New York Board of Education doesn't even provide a living wage for a "single" mother with champagne taste. I like to travel throughout the year. I like to buy scrapbooking materials. I buy yarn for my many lofty project ideas. I like to purchase new camera equipment often. And I like to eat...well! This meant something had to change. After 12 years, I'm clearly not getting out of this profession (although my heart yearns to) so in order to create the life I want for me and my child, moving was my option.

I have thoroughly enjoyed New York. I have possibly enjoyed it too much, but it is not the place I want to raise my child. And with my salary, I couldn't even live it up the way I wanted to. So this move is absolutely necessary at this point. And I don't want to just move to a place where the cost of living is cheaper just so I can blow my money. So I have enlisted the help of this chick here. Because my goal is to own my home and car some day in the very near future. 

In Need of a Vacation...Badly

In 2010 it was Puerto Rico for a fabulous 5 days with my girlfriends.

In 2009 it was countless trips to Atlanta, Inauguration weekend, a trip with my bestie to Jamaica, a quick visit to my "sister" in Chicago, a brief stop to visit family in Puerto Rico with my daughter and mother, and then a luxurious 11-day trip to Dubai.

(I need to be slathered up with sunblock and oil like this right now)

(yes...that would be solid gold statues in the front of the club)

(I need to be in a hot tub at a spa right this second. Please and thank you.)

(And yes...the food was good, too.)

(This guy bought me free drinks all night. I wanted to stay. Forever.)

(A live violinist at the club? Who does that? Oh, right. People in Dubai.)

(Any dj that can play Hall & Oates, Kirk Franklin, and Fela in the club is alright by me!)

(That would be solid gold. Good gold. Real gold. Their opulence was off the chain.)

(It was so hot that we ran barefoot through the sprinklers. It was 120* during the day. 116* when we stepped of the plane...at midnight.)

(That's me...on a Wave Runner. Best.fun.ever.)

Unless you count the weekend I went to Atlanta for my bestie's hip hop engagement party, or the two-day bus trip to Baltimore to visit Maasai's godparents and my new love Meagan (more of this to follow), this year it's been nada/zip/zero/nothing. 

I love to travel. I assume it started with my father bringing me dolls from all of the exotic places he visited that sparked the interest. There was the fair-skinned, brown-eyed doll from Czechoslovakia, or the black pig-tailed rag doll from Jamaica. He even brought me a rabbit as a gift from the wife of the prime minister of Grenada once. And so I was exposed to an understanding that the world was bigger than just Berkeley, California. 

But there was a catch: I.hate.to.fly. I've got way too much ADD pulsing through my veins to be able to comfortably sit in the same space for hours. And to be relegated to that one seat just makes me antsy. So I found the cure for that was to travel with others. Because then it just feels like I'm catching up with old friends and just happen to be flying half way across the world at the same time. 

So traveling now makes me very happy. Me+a beach= very good things. But I guess in the midst of preparing for this move, and not knowing where I will be working, nor living, I felt it would seem irresponsible to plan a trip this year. My good friend Makata has been throwing around the idea of the Cayman Islands. My boy Quad said that I could crash at his place any time in Miami. My bestie is getting married in the Dominican Republic next March. My "sister" wants all of her friends and family to join her on her honeymoon to Ghana next May. But all of this seems so very distant and intangible right now while I sit in dirty New York City wanting desperately to find a way out. *Sigh* I guess I just have to relive the memories and wistfully daydream about making new ones. 

Ok...Now That I Have a New Look...

I'm ready to really use this thing. Don't know that anyone's even paying attention anymore. But I'll do what I can anyhow. Let me give you a quick Q&A to catch you up on life.

Q: Are you still living in NYC?                                                

A: Yes, but that is changing very soon. I'll be moving back to Atlanta in 64 days. {Can you tell I'm excited?!}

 

Q: Are you still teaching?

A: Yes. I still teach fourth grade. I adore my kiddies. Love my colleagues. Will be very sad to see them go, but look forward to new opportunities in Atlanta. In addition to teaching, I've launched my own crocheting business. Go check it out! I am also starting a new venture with an old friend in the upcoming months. I'll be sure to post here when it's up and running.

Q: Whatever happened to all of the drama over moving and going to court?

A: I am glad to report that is long behind us. My daughter's father and I actually have a really healthy and beautiful relationship now. It's still being worked out, but our communication is so much better. 

Q: Speaking of your daughter...

A: She's 11! Can you believe it? She's healthy and gorgeous and almost as tall as I am! She is a happy fifth grader and her teacher has named her one of the two top kids in the class. She's a super girl! Still ice skating too, although we'll have to find a rink in Atlanta in order for her to keep at it.

Q: Are you dating?

A: I have a wonderful boyfriend whom is actually moving to Atlanta with us! You'll hear about him a lot I'm sure. He'll probably even dip in from time to time. He's lovely. He's good to me. I'm happy. 

So that's my life in a nutshell. More stories to come!